I just heard an awful story from Crazytown. It’s the most common story that I hear — two people, with kids, can’t figure out that there’s a way to deal with mental illness, with anger, fear, and pain. And so he beats her. And then eventually shoots her. In this case, 7 children, all from other relationships are robbed of their parents. 7 lives now overflowing with anger, fear, and pain.
If you are in one of these relationships. You know if you are. You have panic attacks. You yell. You scream. No one hears you. No one can help you. You feel hopeless. But you dream. You know that there must be something else. Other than drinking and drugs and cutting and everything else you do to cope.
Stop putting a funny face on it. Stop saying the sun will come out tomorrow. Because if you don’t walk away, it won’t.
Just walk away.
Oh! Easy for you to say! No. Not easy. It is hard, in fact, terrifying. You have to make plans to stay safe. You have be alert for stalking. But it has to be done. Otherwise, well, you will die. And that is not an option. You have kids. It is not an option. You must fight for sanity, fight for your life, fight for your kids.
Make a plan. Just walk away.
If you are a man. Walk away. It’s the only way to be a man. You are not a man if you are tormenting the “one you love” — that is not ever acceptable. Not when you’re drunk or high. It hurts you in ways, well, you know what I mean. You lose your self-respect. It’s time to walk away. Oh, but that’s the problem, too many fathers walking away. Let me break it to you. If you, as a father, are beating the life out of anyone, your girlfriend, your wife, your kids, you are not a father, you are a jailer. If you need meds and you don’t feel like taking them, be a man, and take your meds.
Just walk away.
Or, get help. Don’t try. Just do it. Don’t make excuses, oh I’m tired, I work 60 hours a week, it’s not in my insurance plan. So? Either make it work and suck it up and get better and escape from Crazytown or just walk away.
There is no stasis. You are both part of the problem. Fix it or file it.