Category: Uncategorized

Leaving Crazytown

It makes me happy to see a resident of Crazytown taking the actions necessary to move out. After all, moving requires preparation and work. No one wakes up one morning and says, I’m moving today, and successfully changes from point A to point Z. I love this resident and have been coaching him to move out for years. At first, he just didn’t believe he was living in Crazytown. Crazytown was hip, it was where all of his friends lived. The nightlife was exciting and unpredictable.

He went through a phase in which he couldn’t make Crazytown work for him — so he wanted funding. Just help with a computer. Help with a couple of bucks for food. Help for heating. He needed socks. That went on for a few years, punctuated by bouts of shouting, crying, outrage, anxiety–the whole emotional rollercoaster at the carnival.

Next, he drowned his sorrows. He self-medicated. He destroyed relationships without acknowledging his rage. He blacked out. Often. One year, the day before Thanksgiving, he called me. Someone had broken into his apartment and left the deadbolt (which had been pried off completely) in the middle of the living room floor. In the living room had been two laptops — his and his girlfriends. His laptop had been stolen — his whole means of making money as a DJ. His girlfriend’s laptop hadn’t been touched. Apparently, the thief had entered his room, and stole a pair of his very expensive hipster jeans — waist size 28. He was so drunk, he didn’t hear someone steal his pants! The worst part, in those pants was his Louis Vuitton belt, still threaded through the belt loops.

Out of curiosity, how many thieves can actually wear a size 28 skinny jean? I mean really? I’ve seen meth addicts who couldn’t fit into those jeans — they were like leggings!

Anyway, this seemed to be the Crazytown cycle. Get to “rock bottom” and quit drinking/drugging. Go to church one week in a row. Feel better for two weeks. Repeat.

Girlfriends lasted about 2 years and then moved on.

And then the big 30 began to loom on the horizon. After 9 years, he was still cycling, still living behind the 8 ball — worse than paycheck to paycheck. Less than zero, less than zero, when it came to his budget. Light began to dawn, and the false shine of Crazytown looked cheap, like the fake gold that peels off of a plastic dish. The disguises were frayed, filthy, and cracked. He quit drinking. For weeks, over two months. He was clear headed and began making good choices.

He is packing his bags. He is serious this time. He is moving. He is not perfect, there has been a short lapse and a quick revisit to his own self-tortured agony. But with that, a renewal of commitment, and a fresh perspective of why.

Why do we do what we do?

Europe Has Changed My Shoes

You know life has changed when most of your shoes don’t really work anymore. Yes, styles change a bit. Yes, you get a little change in your arch, in the width of your foot, the length. But you can make those shoes still work. For instance, I have this great pair of pumps that I bought at least 10 years ago or more. They are a great color of violet lavender, comfortable for high heels, and not trendy in the toe shape or the heel. Just a great pair of pumps. They work with jeans, with pencil skirts, with dresses–just a great pair of pumps that work.

But over here, they don’t work. When I walk to the bus or even further to the train, they don’t work, I have to have a separate shoe-carrying tote. But once I get off the train or the bus, I’m still walking on cobblestones. It’s not worth carrying my pumps with me since I can’t really wear them to go shopping. Sure, if I worked in a beautiful building then I would carry them. But I work virtually. (My work feels just like it did when I was in the States. No different, except that I get more done, because of the time difference.) But back to the shoes.

I literally have hundreds of shoes. And most of them don’t work for my life in Europe. My boots, booties, and shooties work. My Converse All Stars work. My athletic shoes work. But those thin-soled flip flops and sandals? Those sky-high wedges? My barely there strappy stilettos? My kitten heels? Nope.

So, I went shopping for spring and summer shoes. It looks like spring over here and a few days, filled with the blossoms on the trees and ducks lazily paddling on the pond, made me believe it was time to get my wardrobe changed out from the early winter spring clothes to the late spring clothes, the pre-summer, the white jeans, the abandonment of the heavy winter coat wardrobe. I was so excited to zhjuze up my look, I actually tried on the dreaded-but-fashionable-in-the-moment Birkenstock’s. (Birks are made for Europe, not just hippies it turns out.) Unfortunately, Birks are not for my foot, the straps are made of some stiff, durable and gougy leather or patent leather, or plastic, very German and unworkable for my delicate, easily blistered foot. So, I purchased a sleek pair of white leather tennis shoes made in Denmark. But what will I wear for sandals?

 

 

 

Travel: Berlin and Potsdam

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Traveling to Berlin for a weekend had me solving the weather problem: rainy, humid, hot, sunny, and chilly, and windy– all in the course of three days. On top of that, it was my 16th anniversary, so I knew that at least one nice dinner was on the itinerary. Other than a nice dinner, we planned to go to museums, see a memorial to fallen Russian soldiers, see the Berlin Tiergarten Siegessaeule, a monument honoring victories in the “unification” wars. We also planned on seeing Charlottenburg Palace, and hopping a bus over to Potsdam to wander around Sans Souci, built by Friedrich the Great inspired by Versailles. In addition, we couldn’t see Berlin without going to the Helmut Newton museum. So, comfortable shoes were a must — there was so much walking on cobblestones, dirt paths, steps, and streets.

Here’s my bullet wardrobe reminder. I followed prevailing fashion advice, neutrals–white, gray, black–with one predominant accent color–petal pink. After all, it was my anniversary and I certainly wanted to look light and feminine, summery and happy! Additionally, I wore some beautiful Alexis Bittar jewelry that my hubby had purchased for me a few years ago.

  • Rain windbreaker: packable, white
  • Trenchcoat: short, pink, not super waterproof
  • Dress: pewter, lightweight, comfortable, nice enough for most restaurants
  • Pants: white
  • Jeans: black motorcycle
  • T-shirt: floral, Balmain
  • Tank: floral, charcoal
  • Birkenstocks: silver
  • Sneakers: white converse
  • Walking cross trainers: black and white
  • Scarves: microfiber pastel print, pink mesh, linen white print
  • Vintage accessory: charm bracelets

 

A few Berlin highlights: There is a street called Strasse Juni 17th — so if that is your Anniversary date–it’s perfect to celebrate on that street, on that date.

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Brandenburg Gate, Berlin

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Strasse Juni 17th looking at the Seugessaeule, or Victory Memorial. There was a bicycle race that day, Juni 17th!

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The Reichstag — the German capitol building with the flag flying in the wind!

Travel: Paris or Prague

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When I go to Paris (or Prague) and I only want to take one suitcase, I look at the weather, decide on a “look” and then write down what I will take. Here’s a reminder of a Bullet Wardrobe that has worked for prior trips taken in spring and summer to these wonderful cities. You’ll notice the simplicity of color choice: black, which 1) rates high on the style index, especially when spending time in art museums and cathedrals, and 2) transitions into a decent dinner look with a little extra eyeliner and jewelry. Accent with white, if you have salt and pepper hair, and forget an accent color. Yes, minimalism is all the rage. Let the scarves do all of the work.

Here’s the Bullet wardrobe list:

  • Jeans: skinny, black
  • Jeans: moto, black
  • Jacket: Lightweight Black leather biker
  • Jacket: Satin Bomber–Black, Olive, Burgundy
  • Sweater: Black hoodie
  • Shirt: L/S Button up Silk, Black (dress up or down based on shoes/jewelry/scarf)
  • T-shirt: S/S Vintage Chanel Logo Black
  • T-shirt: Sleeveless, lightweight & drapey, zebra-striped print, vintage Saint Laurent
  • Walking shoes: Black and white power walking shoes with inserts (a must for cobblestones and hills!)
  • Walking shoes: Black Converse are lightweight, stylin’ and still okay for walking
  • Pumps: vintage or just old? Zebra-striped pony pumps for when you want to go out at night!
  • Two scarves (because you’ll buy at least one on the trip): silk red and purple floral, lightweight animal print
  • Umbrella (which you could lose and so you will purchase another one)
  • Packable rain coat (not shown)
  • Straw fedora (to keep sun off–not shown)
  • Vintage accessory: charm bracelets

Travel: Verdun

 

Now that I’m comfortable with my 50’s appearance, it only took 5 years, I am helping myself remember which packing plans have worked best for me here in Europe. This post covers our trip to see the WWI history in Verdun. The weather forecast was rainy; the itinerary included light hiking in the woods,  staying at a pensione in the country, and going to a community flea market.

Bullet wardrobe for a long weekend in Verdun, Lorraine, France over the July 4 holiday.

  • Jeans: stretchy, straight leg
  • Jeans: skinny
  • Knit shirts: L/S french stripes
  • Shirt: Crisp, white button down
  • Cardigan: White, light weight
  • Rain shell: white, packable
  • Rain coat: mustard yellow tin cloth
  • Down vest or wool pullover (wished for on trip)
  • 3 scarves: linen, vintage silk, microfiber
  • Hiking boots: should have been waterproof, legwarmers were a plus
  • Sneakers: leather, walking
  • Birkenstocks: good for pensione & car
  • Bag: cross body
  • Backpack: waterproof
  • Extra wash cloths!
  • Other usuals: socks, medicine, cosmetics
  • Vintage accessory: daisy print silk scarf with sunny yellow border, charm bracelets

Focusing on wearing white makes selfies seem lighter and somewhat more flattering. Using the old wardrobe rule 2 neutrals+1 accent color keeps it simple. Remember that in these wet, cloudy, and breezy climates, layering allows accommodation for temperature fluctuations. The folks in Verdun were kind and in the country, were just like all country folks-hospitable and pragmatic.

My Best 50 Something

I am loving life.

Much of that comes from the following:

  1. Working on my knowledge pool
  2. Being open to new people, places, and things
  3. Working on my spiritual self
  4. Being open to change and forgiveness
  5. Working on my health and appearance
  6. Avoiding obsessions and silliness
  7. Working on improving my emotional landscape
  8. Being open to letting go of anxiety, fear, anger, rage
  9. Working on being wise
  10. Being open to reality even when unfair, improbable,
  11. Accepting truth, being courageous, living with normal failings and failures

You might think that my good fortune (which doesn’t have anything to do with a fortune), was merely luck. But I think that the foundation, the groundwork, that is built day-by-day, creates the ability to effectively open up to good choices, to be able to say ‘no’ to bad choices, and then to walk through the door of opportunity. And yes, that includes choosing my husband, who has been the most important part of getting to live in Germany for the past two years.

But all of that isn’t enough. Having a solid relationship with God, with his son, Jesus Christ, is the most important aspect of this foundation. With everything else, and without a solid place internally, spiritually, the emptiness will not and cannot be filled. Contentment and happiness, can’t truly bloom.

Like Covey said, big rocks first.

“On Christ the solid rock I stand. All other ground is sinking sand.” William Batchelder Bradbury (1816-1868)

St. Valentine’s Day: Anticipation

hermes-scarf-valentine-2017-2I find myself in Paris this St. Valentine’s Day. As if I were some amazing writer, world traveler, or jet-set member. All of which, I am not. And yet, here I am, living a romance novel character’s dream…let’s be honest, my dream!

My husband and I have been here to Paris twice before, we’ve walked past that amazing fixture of luxury restaurants, Maxim’s, and I have always put it out of my mind that I would ever have a meal there. After all, royalty has dined there. But everything has become more accessible now, here in our time, in the new century. Even Maxim’s.

My husband made reservations for us this evening at 8:00 p.m. I am going a little crazy with excitement. I will wear a black, elegant, almost tuxedo-like suit, with a satin blouse, and as my key accessory, I will wear my Hermes scarf.

Hah! I shouldn’t even own an Hermes scarf! Again, another gift from my loving husband who goes out of his way to make me feel like we are part of the elite class. And truly, I am wealthy. I am married to a man who is truly my partner. We share love and adventure daily. He knows me, he gets me, and he makes me laugh. I am rich!

 

 

Flugente [Duck] Preparation Results

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Flugente, prepared as discussed at the Farmer’s Market in Dornbusch, Frankfurt, Germany.

I had a great time preparing my Flugente [Duck] yesterday and have a list of Things I Learned. First, let me say, the recipe that was shared with me was spot on as far as flavors were concerned. The onion/apple fragrance filled the apartment, then the addition of the duck to the dutch over, took everything to a new level of homey goodness. As I have a terrible habit of trying several new processes at once, I added onto the cooking of this dish the videoing of the process, which, when I have it edited down, I will also provide. So, overall, the dish was a success, my hubby and I ate it with relish, with mostly positive observations. Here is the list of Things I Learned Yesterday:

Negatives

  1. Duck fat should be reserved for Duck Confit, not slished down the drain while you are hurrying for your next video shot. Money wasted about $12 worth of duck fat.
  2. Realizing that you should have saved something when you are just pouring the last spoonful down the drain is priceless. Too bad the forehead slapping and self-loathing were not caught on camera.
  3. Duck is NOT like chicken. One negative phrase regarding the duck skin was “rubbery” and another phrase was, “well, you only really eat the duck breast”….

Positives

  1. Bratapfel liqueur is marvelous! Use it to soak some fresh apple slices to use for garnish, as you might see on the video. Use it in the sauce, it creates the most lovely compliment to duck. I can’t wait to use it over cinnamon ice cream and in some sort of a torte recipe.
  2. Duck is a beautiful dark meat and has a somewhat earthier flavor than chicken. It is also darker in its’ breast than a goose. There are some other techniques for cooking duck that I will try next time to crisp up the skin.
  3. Farmer’s Market is known as Bauern Markt in Deutsche. It is also the easiest way, next to going to the specialty shops, to get the freshest meat, poultry, and produce. They are held weekly and year round.
  4. Videoing with your phone and selfie stick isn’t as simple as you might think. Kudos to all of the great How-To video producers that I see on Instagram!

 

Frankfurt: Dornbusch Farmer’s Market

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Flugente very frisch! It’s what’s for dinner tonight!

Today, regardless of the calendar, felt like autumn, Herbst in Deutsch. The clouds settled in yesterday and the dip in temperature and the crunch of dead leaves left no one in doubt of the season. I have been here for nine, almost ten months; waiting for autumn, my favorite season.

Although I have been trying to live every “American in Europe” cliche, today was the first day that I did my shopping, my main shopping on foot, in a local farmer’s market, in our neighborhood. Yes, I have shopped at the big farmer’s market in Konstablerwache, but mostly to take photos and eat waffles. Today, I was armed with a loose idea of a menu:

  1. Poultry
  2. Vegetable
  3. Fruit

I didn’t expect more than four or five rickety stands set up. I thought that there wouldn’t be many people. Ha! There were easily twice or even thrice that many vendors and not one of them in a rickety stand, well, maybe one. Instead, there were highly evolved, refrigerated cases that are part of the trucks themselves. There was fresh fish from one vendor, fresh beef and pork from another. There was a wall of rotisserie chickens roasting happily at one booth. The vegetables were a colorful palette of greens, purples, reds, and orange. Large vegetable stands, at least four of them, renewed my faith in farm-to-table. As I ambled down the center of the street, I saw another refrigerated case, a long, well stocked poultry case. In it was this beautiful bird, labeled flugente. This bird was whispering to me, “cook me”, so I asked in my preschool German, ” Sprechen Sie English? Was is das?”

He said it was “a duck, very frisch!”

“How fresh?” I asked.

“Yesterday night.”

I had hit it. The holy Grail of optimum ingredients. And this, in Dornbusch, after my incredible weekend in Paris.

So, that is how I ended up with the freshest “duck”, [personally, I think it’s a goose], for our dinner. But how to prepare it?

I asked the poultry vendor and a little woman three people down, took over. She started describing a recipe with zwiebeln to anyone who would listen. I know that “zwiebeln” means “onions” and I turned to her and she turned to me, said her English wasn’t that good, and then described how to cook this bird.

Flugente Recipe, by a friendly older woman at the Farmer’s Market

“Onions in fett til tey are soft. Bird in pan and some wasser. Cook til da string runs clear, is det right? string?” She motioned with her hands.

“Juices” I added, then nodded my head for her to continue.

“Then add some Calvados and some cream to deh pan.” She made a whisking motion with her hands.
I nodded. “Got it.” I also squeezed my eyes shut and sighed. Heaven. She continued,

“You can add some apple to the onions, not too much, but to balance. Keep it in the pan.”

Have I said it before? “I love Germany!”

I will post a photo of the end result tomorrow.

I Crack Myself Up

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You know how you crack yourself up from time to time with a totally inappropriate thought? Well, today’s that day for me. Totally inappropriate and being a Christian woman, I will never say this directly to someone, and I mean anyone. But since I have been working on writing comedy for some time now, I thought I would share today’s inappropriate toast, as it would look like in a meme.

Compliments of Yours Truly, I crack myself up, etc. copyright 2016